What is mediation?

If you and the person you live with, your spouse or civil partner, want to explore mediation through Birketts’ Family Mediation then please click here for the link to a new section.

Many couples going through a relationship breakdown find that they cannot comfortably discuss their options with each other.  A highly emotional state is often accompanied by a lack of trust and an inability to communicate effectively. Mediation helps couples to find a better way of interacting and enables them to come up with their own solutions to their problems, thereby avoiding solutions imposed by others.

It is a voluntary process in which a trained mediator meets with the couple face-to-face, provides them with information and ideas, and helps them to identify issues which they are then well placed to resolve through discussion.  Parents can learn new and better ways to manage their conflict which makes them better equipped to address any differences they may have in the future.

The first step in mediation is to attend an assessment meeting, for which there is usually no charge, at which the mediator will explain the process briefly to make sure that you understand what is involved and want to go ahead with it.  The next stage will be the first mediation meeting where you will outline the matters you want to resolve, talk about how you are each going to provide any information, data or documents  and fix a date for the next meeting.

During subsequent meetings, your mediator may suggest other help, such as financial advice, or support for your children.  You may wish to consult your lawyers between meetings.  People who go to a family mediator are recommended to each separately consult a family lawyer during the process to give them some idea of what is in their best interests.  Once you have a set of proposals that you each find acceptable, your mediator will prepare a summary which you may wish to ask your lawyers to incorporate into a legally binding agreement.

Most mediations can be concluded in two to five meetings each lasting about an hour and a half.  Because it is relatively quick, and because you share the mediator’s fees, the process is recognised as being the most cost-effective way of resolving relationship and family problems.