Co-parenting arrangements during the summer holidays

Here in the Family Team at Birketts LLP, we completely understand how challenging the summer holidays can be, especially when co-parenting. So here are some tips to help make the process smoother: 

1. Plan ahead: the earlier you discuss and agree on holiday plans, the better. Not only does this help to avoid last-minute stress but it ensures everyone knows what to expect.  Consider using a family calendar (see below). 

2. Focus on the child’s needs: always prioritise your child’s well-being and happiness. Put aside any personal differences and work with your co-parent to create a positive experience for the children. 

3. Be flexible: life can be unpredictable, so it’s important to be open to changes and adjustments. Flexibility can help accommodate unexpected events and make the holiday more enjoyable for everyone. 

4. Communicate effectively: clear and respectful communication with your co-parent is key.  Use “I” (rather than ‘you’) statements to express your feelings and avoid misunderstandings. 

5. Create new traditions: establishing new family traditions can make the holidays special and memorable for your child. This can also help create a sense of stability and continuity. 

6. Embrace child-free time: Use the time when your child is with the other parent to recharge and take care of yourself. This can help you be more present and engaged when you’re with your child. 

7. Involve extended family: if possible, involve grandparents or other family members in the holiday plans. This can provide additional support and create more opportunities for your child to bond with extended family. 

Consider co-parenting apps such as ‘Our Family Wizard’ which allows you to make and receive calls (without sharing your phone number), communicate with the other parent and use a joint calendar (noting which parent your child is with and when). You might wish to create a shared calendar on your phone or tablet too, for those who shy away from tech, the traditional wall calendar works just as well. 

Taking your child abroad 

You may be planning to take your child away during the holidays. It’s important to follow the legal requirements to avoid any issues and the key points are set out below: 

1. Permission from the other parent: if both parents have parental responsibility, you need the other parent’s written consent or a Court Order to take the child abroad. Without this, you risk committing the offence of child abduction. Start to plan early. 

2. Court orders: if you have a Court Order stating that the child lives with you (a “Lives With” Child Arrangements Order), you can take the child abroad for up to 28 days without the other parent’s consent, unless a Court Order says otherwise. Ensure that your co-parent knows the dates you will be away and ensure you have emergency contact numbers for each other. 

3. Documentation: It’s advisable (especially if your child does not have the same name as you) to carry a letter from the other parent giving permission, including their contact details and details about the trip. This can be useful at borders or if there’s a dispute. If required, we can provide you with a draft child travel consent form for the other parent to complete.   

4. Court permission: if the other parent does not consent, you may need to apply to the court for permission. You’ll need to provide details of the trip and reasons for taking the child abroad. If you require further assistance in this regard, please do not hesitate to contact a member of the Family Team.   

5. Check entry requirements: some countries have strict entry rules regarding evidence of parental permission. It’s important to check the entry requirements of the destination country well in advance. Of particular note, some countries do not abide by the same code as the United Kingdom but if you have any queries in this respect, please get in contact with a member of the family team.  

We hope this article helps make the summer holidays more manageable for your family.  Whilst we have focussed on the summer holidays here, many of the points we make apply to any school holiday.